From the moment I arrived at the festival it was like a scene from American Pie meets Snog, Marry, Avoid. Every girl was covered in fake tan, apart from me who was, by now looking a little bit red, "Mom, I don't need suncream, it's going to rain", is a phrase I wish I could take back. Every boy had a top half like Daniel Craig and I just stood and watched in awe as hundreds of girls walked by in boob tubes, wishing I had packed something a little more seductive than my mothers rain coat.
What amazed me the most though, were these little hotpants which every girl with a perfect peach seemed to be sporting, I could still spot some cellulite though so I'm not THAT jealous. I mean, I am a huge fan of the high waisted short on a night out, but there were literally ass cheeks dropping out left, right and centre stage. How anyone could be comfortable with a piece of cheap denim riding up their derriere is beyond me?
Buttttt I suppose when you are the queen of pop you're able to pull it off as a piece of fine art/ass.
Note to self: Next year buy a pair of the tiniest hotpants around and aim to look like Rihanna. (Think I'm pushing that latter comment slightly)...I'm still packing the mac though and maybe adding a waist belt for a glamorous feel. xxxxx
